So Hard to Say It
by BellPrincess
Summary: Sora has a new abusive father who didn't react to well the big news Sora had to share with him.  Hopefully Riku won't react the same way...


I looked over at my clock on my night stand, it read 1:20 am in blurry numbers. Wiping the tears from my eyes I decided it was time to sleep. Curling up under the covers I cried myself to sleep. I hated him, I hated him so much. It was his fault I'm like this. Then when I told them my big secret he made me hate him even more. I'm not normally like this, but it has been this way ever since they got married. At first he was nice, bought me gifts, and won mom and I over. That's when everything changed. He started yelling, drinking, sometimes he's even hit me.

He said it was because he would never hit a woman, and since I was the only other man around he'd hit me. Tonight, thankfully it wasn't anything like that. It was just yelling, and my mom just sat there and watched it. She was probably being tortured inside. She knew that if she said something that I would be the one to pay for it. I was always her "little man" as she put it. I never asked for help. I guess I wanted to replace dad after the war, but I knew I couldn't.

She would never let anything happen to me, but now, now she feel probably feels helpless. She can't do anything, and she probably feels that this is her fault for marrying him. I wish that he was never here. That none of this ever happened. Those were my finals thoughts before drifting off to sleep.

"Hey Sora! Over here!" A bright and cheery voice came from my right.

"Hey Kairi," I said walking over to her and her twin sister Namine.

"Man, you don't look too good. Are you sure every thing's ok? If you ever need a place to stay for a while you can crash at my place," Roxas said walking up.

"Nah, it's ok. It's just a few more years and I'm out of that place anyway," I said trying to give a reassuring smile. Of course I knew it wouldn't be ok. It never was with him around.

"Well, if you say so," Namine said quietly from behind her sketch pad. If you didn't know her you'd think she couldn't really give a damn, but she was actually just absorbed in drawing something at the moment.

Riku, being the best friend that he was, tried to make sure I got the point, "Just remember you've got us. Especially me!" He said laughing. It made me feel happy again, like nothing bad had ever happened in the world.

"Hey! You can't hog him! He's my friend too!" Kairi said slapping Riku slightly on the arm which made everyone else laugh again.

"Come on, we gotta get to class," Axel said trying to pull Roxas along with him.

"Since when have you ever cared about class Axel?" Riku inquired.

"I just don't want to have to repeat another grade!"

"Heh, you'll be a Senior forever at this rate!" Roxas said giggling making the whole group burst into laughter again.

It was finally lunch time, but I didn't have anything to eat. It had been since Christmas a year ago that he allowed mom to put munny in for my lunches because "dad" always thought that I never really ate since I was so skinny. Of course this wasn't true so I'd always end up having to take food from friends.

"Hey Sora! Catch!" Riku shouted throwing me something. Trying to catch it and failing I was glad it was wrapped. Picking it up off the ground I saw it was some curry bread. About ready to tear into it I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me jump three feet in the air.

"Heh, calm down there Sora! It's just me," Roxas said laughing a bit at my jumpiness.

"We all thought since you didn't have anything to eat for lunch we could all pitch in and get you something for a while," Kairi said handing me a can of Pepsi.

"Gee, thanks guys. I really mean it."

"Well here ya go," Namine said almost as cheery as Kairi.

Taking the small bento box full of rice, a couple sushi, some meat, and corn I heard Axel walk up, loud as usual. "Man Namine, now you're gonna make me look bad!"

"He he, don't worry so much Axel. I'm sure what you brought is fine," Namine said smiling. If she would only smile a little more. She's always so cute when she smiles. I wish that we could get her out of that house. I probably have it better than her. Kairi was always treated as princess and Namine, well, Namine was always locked in her small room in the basement. Only Kairi would visit her. Her parents hated her for some odd reason. She was their daughter after all.

"What did you get him Axel?" Roxas asked.

"Oh just this. I didn't have much since I just bought that new lighter I wanted so this was all I could get," he said pulling a small sandwich out of his bag. "I get paid today so I'll have something a little better tomorrow, promise."

"Wow you guys really went all out with this!" I said trying to hold everything while attempting to grab the sandwich from Axel. Nearly dropping everything Riku caught everything I didn't which was everything but Namine's bento.

"Careful there Sora," he said sitting under the tree we normally ate under at the front of the school. Enjoying much huge lunch I sat next to Riku who seemed oddly quiet recently. Namine and Kairi were giggling for some odd reason, and Roxas was in Axel's lap eating his lunch while letting Axel have a few bites.

After lunch everyone but Namine and Kairi had a free period so they went back to class while Axel and Roxas went out to go do what ever they did during their free period. This left me and Riku under the big tree, alone.

"Ahhh! Great lunch today! I'm stuffed," I said laying down in the shade, "You know you guys don't have to keep doing this right?"

"Doing what? Buying you lunch? Nah, we want to," Riku said joining me.

"Yeah alright. So what are you doing after school today?"

"Huh? Oh, well I was just going to go home and probably rest for a bit then do something. I don't know yet."

"Oh, well could I come hang out with you?"

"Yeah I don't see why not."

We sat there in silence for a while but then I just had to break it. I had to tell Riku, I had to tell him my big secret that I could say with everyone around, "Hey Riku."

"Hm?"

"I want to tell you something," I said sitting up.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how you're going to react to this, but I hope it's not like how "dad" reacted."

"What Sora?" He sat up worried, "You know you can tell me anything right."

"Nevermind. It was nothing," I said turning onto my side away from Riku.

"Hey you've got me worried now. What is it?"

I could find a way to say it at all. I took me forever to tell "dad" and he reacted just the way I thought he would. What if Riku did the same. What if he thought I was a freak? I mean he didn't think that of Roxas and Axel, but what if it was different for me?

"Come on! Please tell me."

"Don't want to."

"Sora! Come on! I'm your best friend please!"

"Alright fine! Well, um, I'm gay."

Riku sat there stone faced. I didn't know what to think, there were no clues as to how he reacted to this news. Starting to get worried I started to get up, but before I could Riku grabbed my hand. His hair covered his face so I couldn't tell what he was going to do next let alone what he was thinking. Closing my eyes hoping for the best but suspecting that the worst was coming.

"That's fine. I have a secret too. I'm gay as well."

This one hit me right between the eyes. I just about fell over but regained my balance with help from Riku. Before I knew I did it, I jump on top of Riku and began laughing and crying at the same time. Of course I didn't know what came over myself. I couldn't tell why I was crying. Maybe they were tears of joy. In fact I kind of had a crush on Riku for sometime now.

"Well that wasn't quiet the reaction I was expecting," Riku said sitting up trying to pull me off him. Finally he got me from around his neck and pulled me in closer. And well we all know what happens next.

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EmoCosplayer: Hey guys! Fist fanfiction of this year for me!:) Hope you guys like it! Well no real story behind this one, I just kind of left it on my computer for a long time and didn't touch it. Well found it and kind of liked it so I figured what the heck, I didn't know where I was going with it originally so I just kind of made a rush ending. Hope it's still good! Later:)


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